Hello everyone and welcome back to the blog! I'm so happy you're here. Today we're going to be talking about something that's not so popular in today's society. Not only am I saving my virginity for marriage but I'm saving my first kiss for that as well. Yes, that's a thing. Let's chat.
# 1 - I'm not any holier than you are for doing this.
# 2 - The Bible does not say thou shall not kiss before thou wed. This is based all upon personal conviction.
Let's hop in!
Why wait for something like that?
The main question everyone asks when I came to this conclusion is why? What lead me to making the decision that I made. I have one word, purity. Some people can go and kiss their partner and it doesn't affect them and that's great for them but I know me, I know my flesh, I've thought about it multiple times and I can't do it. I don't think I can kiss someone I find attractive and just want to stop there. I'm just being honest.
The Bible didn't say get as close to temptation as possible then run, it said to flee. When I see temptation down the road waiting for me I'm not going to wait until I get there I'm going run from it as soon as I see it. As believers we should immediately flee.
Just a quick reminder:
Purity does not stop at marriage. It is a life time pursuit. As for those of us who are single, it does not only mean saving your virginity.
What about our hearts....our minds?
I've had to sit and ask myself "Ruth if you kiss someone, do you really think you can just walk away with no consequences?" and the answer is no personally speaking, I couldn't. I know I can't because lust is one son of a gun. It's very sneaky and before I know it I'm doing it. My mind can already be impure as it is right now and that will only add to it especially if it's someone that I'm courting. Again, just being honest here.
So what about my dating life...?
I wish I could tell you guys a happy story lol and in a way, it is happy but it's kinda not. I've had quite a few guys come to me and show interest. I'm an honest/up front person. I'm not going to throw certain things in your face but I also don't want to waste my time. So whenever a guy shows interest, I tell them I'm saving myself marriage when it comes to sex and kissing. Now the sex part most guys were okay with but every guy paused when I mentioned the kissing part.
I had one guy say to me, "I respect you for doing that but I can't do that. The sex part is one thing but no kissing, nah, no way"
Does it hurt? It sure does.
Maybe not the first few times because hey, there's other guys right? But when every guy says that consecutively....it kinda burns.
It definitely made me doubt what I was doing. Maybe I'm a little extreme. Maybe it isn't so bad. Maybe I'm just over thinking it. One time I was convinced I was taking a legalistic approach and that I needed to lighten up but every time I would think about it, I knew my reasons for why I started. So while my flesh may not like what was happening I wanted to honor God.
It was also a time where I had to trust Him. Trust that He knows what's best and when He wants it to happen, He will. Which means I had to wait (aka patience, a fruit of the Spirit) and I'm still waiting. No one likes waiting especially for long periods of time, waiting is hard and with me being brought up in what I like to call a microwave generation it can be frustrating but I'm learning.
I have an honesty policy when it comes to my life and sharing my stories so I have to be completely honest and say that this wasn't the main reason why I decided to do what I did. When I first decided to save myself 'completely' it had almost nothing to do with my faith and everything with me just being a hopeless romantic. I had this cute idea of me being my husbands first and last in everything and as I got closer to Christ my views changed. It's still a cute thought though is it not?
What Society has to say....
"You'll have no experience" So what? I think that's beautiful. I'll have the rest of my life to do that with my husband... to learn from him or learn together.
"You're way too innocent" When was innocence a bad thing???
"No guy will wait for that, you have to be reasonable" There are godly men out there that will wait. It's just not you, and that's okay.
The list goes on and on about how people who do this are doing the most and it can get to you if you're not careful but don't let society pressure you. At the end of the day, it isn't society that we live for, we live for Christ.
To the one feeling guilty...
I'm aware that some reading this may feel guilty or ashamed. Some may have already kissed, some may have went further. I am not here to condemn, I'm here to encourage. We are all sinners in need of a Savior and Jesus Christ is the savior. You want to know one of the best things about serving God? He forgives and He no longer remembers the sins of our pasts. It doesn't matter if you already 'fell' (that's not the right word but I cant think of anything else) in this area. You can still do this, now it may be harder, but you can do it and I'm not necessarily talking about waiting to kiss. I'm more so talking about the sex part. If you're not a virgin it's not too late to still wait. I'm always here to talk if you need me.
Wow this blog was long. I feel like it's all over the place too but it is what it is. If you made it this far thank you for sticking it out with me today. Don't do something just because I'm doing it. Pray about it, ask God for wisdom and for Him to give you clarity in this area (I'm talking about the kissing part). BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. I love each and every one of you but most importantly Jesus loves you.
Until nest time sweet friends,
2 Timothy 2:22 - So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.